Mental illness sometimes manifests itself as odd or "inappropriate" behavior and there may be times when your relative behaves in a way that is disturbing to you and other family members. If you keep the following things in mind, it may help you manage a challenging situation. Here are some suggestions:

• Plan ahead for situations when symptoms of the illness occur. You may want to talk to your relative’s therapist or treatment team about this. If possible, learn what situations trigger these symptoms and prepare a course of action.

• Learn to recognize signs of relapse, such as withdrawal or changes in sleeping and eating habits. Your family member should also learn these signs of relapse. He may be able to tell you what methods have worked in the past to relieve stress and gain control of symptoms. Seeing his psychiatrist or therapist may help prevent a relapse, especially if he needs his medication evaluated.

• Be able to predict situations that may cause trouble. If Aunt Tessie can't handle the relationship, do not invite her when your family member is present.

• Do not agree to stop the medications because the condition is "cured," or because the medication "makes me feel sick." Talk to the doctor who prescribed the medicine. The doctor may not be aware that your relative is having side effects. Be sure she understands the problems that the medication is causing. Sometimes it takes many adjustments to get the right combination of medication in the right dosages.

• Set reasonable rules and limits and stick to them. Your relative’s therapist may be able to help you do this.

• Don’t suggest that your family member "pull herself together." If she could, she would. Not being able to do this is part of the illness. Remember that your relative is suffering from the illness more than you are.

• Do not expect and insist that all disturbing habits be corrected all at once. Work on setting small, manageable goals. Focus on what is positive, not on what is going wrong.

• At times people with mental illness suffer from memory loss or can’t concentrate. Be patient with your relative; just repeat the information in a nonjudgmental way.

• Do not go along with delusional thinking. The person with mental illness needs to be able to depend on someone who is objective and aware of what is really happening. On the other hand, do not argue with this type of thinking or try to point out faulty logic.

• Your family member may have hallucinations. Be honest. Accept his or her perceptions as his own. If asked, point out simply that you are not experiencing the hallucination.